January 18, 2011

Where were you in the Shtalenkov years?

Another string a fresh losses and another slap in the face of Oilers fans. Mid-season always brings the usual accumulation of losses, a series of rants by Oilers bloggers and another hit to the fan base.

Fans are fickle. If you win, you get fans. If you don't, then people will find better things to do with their time. I'm glad to say that I'm not that fickle when it comes to my beloved Oilers (though some might say I'm more "sad" than "glad" since I don't have anything better to do).

In fact, since I've become a real fan of the Oil I've sat through the worst stretch of Oilers seasons in history. Not hard, I guess, considering their short and distinguished history, but look at these numbers! They're bad by any standards. I would say that I became a "real fan" back in 1997 along with thousands of others with "the Marchant goal". So what have we done since then? Well...

1996–97 81pts Lost in Rd 2, 1–4 (Avalanche)

1997–98 80pts Lost in Rd 2, 1–4 (Stars)

1998–99 78pts Lost in Rd 1, 0–4 (Stars)

1999–00 88pts Lost in Rd 1, 1–4 (Stars)

2000–01 93pts Lost in Rd 1, 2–4 (Stars)

2001–02 92pts Did not qualify

2002–03 92pts Lost in Rd 1, 2–4 (Stars)

2003–04 89pts Did not qualify

2004–05 Season cancelled due to 2004–05 NHL Lockout

2005–06 95pts Lost in Stanley Cup Final, 3–4 (Hurricanes)

2006–07 71pts Did not qualify

2007–08 88pts Did not qualify

2008–09 85pts Did not qualify

2009–10 62pts Did not qualify


First of all: f**king Stars!! I hate them! Hate them all!!

Second of all: For that '06 run to the finals I just so happened to have just finished my undergrad and headed out on a 6-month trip to Europe in May
. I ended up pretty much missing the whole thing! Had I known the Oil weren't just gonna do their usual first round exit to the Stars I would've delayed my trip for 2 months!! Still irks me. By "irk" I mean "emotionally destroys". (This may or may not be the reason for the bitterness evident below)

Anyways, upon returning from my trip I found that everyone had suddenly become an Oilers fan. Everyone loved Pisani (I was the first to call Fernando's name!). Everyone acted as though they had been following the Oilers for years and it was their team. I couldn't take it! Fongolia and I had suffered through years of Oilers failures and earned the right to call ourselves Oilers fans. "Where were you in the Shtalenkov years?" would become my new fan motto. If you knew who Shtalenkov was and how crappy those years were, I accepted you as a real fan. Of course, someone could easily pull the same phrase on me, but replace "Shtalenkov" with some other sucker. But, the fact is, I had made it through some pretty low times.

From The 654

Of course, I knew that one day (although I had hoped it wouldn't be so soon) the Oilers would go back to filling up the record books with more failed seasons and the Oilers fan base would return to it's pre-bandwagon size. The only people still facebooking/tweeting/blogging about the Oilers at this point in the 2010-11 season are the actual fans. The ones that will follow the team every season through its ups and downs. They will discuss the stupidity of every GM that comes into town. And they will sit down on that couch and ride that emotional wave between anger and depression. And they will wait. Wait for better days and maybe, just maybe one of those sporadic (for the Oilers at least) runs in the playoffs.

So where was I in the Shtalenkov years? Why, I was right here. Sitting on my couch. Cursing Joey Beranek. Booing Alex Selivanov. And loving every minute of it. Where were you?

November 18, 2010

Movember Update

Movember is the new November. Started in 2003 in Australia, Movember asks men to lose their dignity for the month of November by growing a moustache and in doing so, raise both awareness of prostate cancer and money for prostate cancer research. This is my second time taking part.

Moustache Update
My moustache is coming along nicely. I noticed earlier in the month that nobody wanted to sit next to me on the bus, women and children would cross the street before reaching me and I was getting some seriously dirty looks. I've now deciphered that this was probably because the dirty teenage trash 'stache that is the beginning of any good mustache was a little too much for the general public.
It seems to have subsided now that my lip has a thick sampling of hair. That, or I've gotten used to the disgusted looks. Either way, here's what I look like now. And it can only get better. Right?

Don't Stop at the 'stache!
Men have historically found it difficult to talk about prostate cancer and conversation about this issue has always been hard to start up. Movember has afforded men everywhere the chance to nonchalantly bring it up.
"Hey! Nice 'stache!"
"ya, it's for movember..."
"Oh...what's movember?..."
And just like that, you're in. This may seem like a small step, but it's really quite important. In fact, it's the most important step to reducing the rates of prostate cancer!

Prostate cancer is curable if found and treated in its earliest stages. The problem is that there are no symptoms during those early stages. It's for that reason that doctors now recommend that men over the age of 40 go for annual prostate examinations, including a DRE (digital rectal exam) and a PSA (prostate specific antigen) blood test.

Many people are surprised to know that rates of prostate cancer are as high in men as breast cancer is in women. 1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime and over 4300 men will die of the disease this year.

I consider raising money for prostate cancer research a secondary goal of Movember. The most important thing is to raise awareness. Simple dietary practices and regular medical examinations will be enough to seriously reduce the rate of prostate cancer. It's that simple. Many men are uncomfortable talking about it, and that's somewhat understandable given our society. But you don't have to tell everyone you know that you're going for a check-up. Just do it! Use the internet to do your research and commit to a healthy lifestyle for yourself!

So while Movember does bring out some hilarious and disgusting moustaches and as such is a fantastic month to people watch, it's also a great time to talk to the people you love about getting a medical examination. So far this Movember my moustache has given me lots of opportunities to inform those around me of the facts about prostate cancer. Hopefully it's also made it easier for all of you to discuss it.

There are tons and tons of resources out there with all the information you need. I've posted some below.

So keep up the good work Mo bros! The 'staches are looking great (in a disturbing sort of way)! Don't forget to take it beyond the 'stache and make it easier for men everywhere to talk about their prostates (in a less lewd manner!).

PINTO




Links

To donate to my Movember team: http://ca.movember.com/mospace/16124/

Movember's main page: www.movember.com

Prostate Cancer Canada: http://www.prostatecancer.ca/ (tons of info here. And it's easy to navigate around!)

National Cancer Institute (US): http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/prostate

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostate_cancer

Canadian Cancer Society: http://www.cancer.ca/Canada-wide.aspx?sc_lang=en




November 12, 2010

"The New Technology"

I was quite surprised at finding an article in The Library Journal about the introduction of video games to the public library in Piqua, Ohio . . . dated April 15, 1981. Their goal: to introduce the 25,000 residents of their rural community to "the new technology". As part of their electronic learning center, the library bought a Radio Shack TRS-80 Level I microcomputer, a Sony Betamax with a Hitachi colour camera, and an Atari with 17 game cartridges.
"The potential problems of supervision were overcome by placing the games in a stack area beneath a stairway— an area just large enough for two players and the equipment. The location, secured by a decorative iron gate, is in clear view of the main circulation desk, and a 'No Spectators Permitted' rule is strictly enforced."
Oh, you want to play video games? Right over there under the stairs and behind the iron gate. Move along, nothing to see here.
"We did attempt to conceal the purely recreational nature of the videogames at first by purchasing a few learning games cartridges (spelling, math, etc.). Our cover was quickly blown, however, because these cartridges have been easily ignored by the players."

"The heaviest use (about 85 percent) is in the age range from ten to 15 years. An occasional parent-child team enjoys an hour together, encouraging us to believe that this is not an activity just for children."

"We have come to believe that videogames may have as acceptable a place among our electronic library services as light fiction, popular magazines, and comedy record albums have had among our more traditional offerings."
I found this article all sorts of amazing since I've been reading all about the same arguments and studies of video game collections being implemented in public (and academic) libraries, except this trend has pretty much just been over the past 10 years. Considering they were almost 30 years ahead of mainstream acceptance of video games in libraries, I say the Piqua Public Library deserves the slow clap. Bravo.

November 8, 2010

Maria enjoys hanging from her mother's thumbs

My co-worker and I had a stunned laugh over these absurd photos from the book How to Teach Your Baby to be Physically Superb-- available from your local public library!






Reminds me of these images from David & Kelly Sopp's wonderful Safe Baby Handling Tips:


October 18, 2010

Pub Quiz, Round 2

3/4ths of The 654 crew returned to Cascade Room for our first official participation in their Monday quiz nights. You may remember last time, we showed up on Championship Night and only got to play along out of competition. Unfortunately, we did not bring our 'A' game and finished with a disappointing 47 out of 68. For some perspective, first place scored 58 and third place scored 53. We were done in by some second-guessing on our part and just plain ignorance in other areas. We were short one player, but I'm not sure that affected our score too much.

If you knew anything regarding:
A) taphephobia
B) ratites
C) chinche, redcoat, mahogany flat, and the crimson rambler
D) former BC premiers
E) 70s SNL

...you could've helped us out! We've got geography, music, and movies down pretty well, but are lacking in the history department. We'll be back in a couple weeks for their special 100th quiz.

October 7, 2010

Game On: Oilers season starts today!!

Tonight the Oilers Era of Hope begins. Probably the most exciting time in Oil Country since the 2006 Cup run (which, being in Europe, I missed most of) :( and apart from that it's really the most excitement since 1990. In all my years of real fandom I have never been so stoked! And it's not even about wins or even a chance to make the playoffs let alone win the Cup. This season is just going to be sheer shock and awe. Shock followed by awe followed by more awe. Can't wait to see these kids play!

But, seeing as the Oilogosphere is overwhelmed by super-keen, stats-loving, hockey gurus I will not get into any predictions here. Instead I will keep it short and simple. I offer only one tip to help you throughout this season:

Magnus Pääjärvi is a name that will come up often this season (seeing as he's totally on the verge of winning the Calder trophy for rookie of the year). So this season, whenever you really want to show that you're in the loop and be the most accurate tweeter/facebooker/blogger you gotta get those umlauts on there!

Here's how you do it:
Windows --> hold down 'alt' and type in '0228'
Mac --> hold down 'option+u' then let go and type the letter 'a' to make 'ä'
Linux --> ???!!?!?

GO OILERS!!!!!!!

September 23, 2010

Pub Quiz, Hotshot!

A friend of a friend suggested we try Monday Quiz Nights at The Cascade Room on Main Street. For perhaps only the second or third time ever, the entire 654 crew went on a field trip. As luck would have it, the night we chose was Quiz of Champions night for all the previous winners, so we were out of competition but we still got to play along (for the most part). Perhaps this worked out for the best since we got to get a taste of the trivia format and gauge ourselves against future competition. Typically, you'd pay $2 per member for a team of four. If you have more than that, you get points deducted. There are three rounds of 10 questions each in a variety of formats and for this championship game there was an extra round. Normally there's a prize for the winning team (a gift certificate I think) and all the money raised gets donated to charity. This being the Quiz of Champions, there were prizes for the top 3 and one for the worst.

Ponytails hates it when I do post-game analysis, but I'm going to go over the questions we got because I'm obsessed with things like this. I realize most of you will also find this utterly boring, so feel free to skip!

Round 1
1. First question was to arrange from North to South: Bahrain, Bhutan, and Qatar. We half-guessed our way to 1 out of 3, except now that I can actually look at a map it appears we may have actually got 3 out of 3 . . . Alas, it's actually stated in the rules "Even when I'm wrong, I'm still right".

2. The question was about Sir Francis Walsingham and under what English monarch he serve as spymaster. Ponytails and the Loner 654 member (henceforth to be referred to as Sideburns) both knew this. Ponytails remembers it specifically from Neil Gaiman's Marvel 1602.

3. Other than 0 and 1, what is the lowest number that is both a perfect square and a perfect cube? The engineers figured this one out while I felt stupid because I couldn't remember exactly what these definitions meant. What's an imperfect square or cube? Clearly my minor in Mathematics failed me.

4. This question was about a ranking of world's top universities and which country came in 18th, the first entry outside of the UK or US. We were given the options of Switzerland, Canada, or Australia. We got this, but it was a guess.

5. At this point, all the official teams were handed a cocktail and asked to identify the four ingredients. Based on long distance visual analysis, we got 1 out of 4. Half of The 654 crew are non-drinkers so actually having the drink may have had little effect on the result.

6. Can't remember the question, but the answer was pulmonary artery and we got it wrong.

7. What is the original meaning of "pontiff"? Given three choices, we were wavering between "bridge-builder" (the correct answer) and "deep thinker". Ultimately, I got argued into the latter as our final answer.

8. Who has the distinction of breaking up with both the 2001 and 2007 Oscar hosts? I realized immediately that the hosts were Steve Martin and Ellen Degeneres, except my mind jumped to Portia de Rossi instead of the correct answer Anne Heche. That was one of those shouldahaddit questions.

9. Something about the most googled 4-letter word in 2004. We guessed "wiki", but it was "blog".

10. We were given a sheet with 6 trios of athletes and we had to match them to what they had in common. The common bonds were "Most games played in their respective sports", "Jewish-American athletes", "all died in plane crashes", "all wore number 42", "openly gay major league athletes", and "all nicknamed Moose". We managed 6 for 6.

Our round score: 11/20

Round 2
We were given a sheet with ten photos from comedy films, which we had to match to a list of quotations while also identifying the movie.

Our round score: 20/20

Round 3
1. Who did Billie Jean King defeat in the "Battle of the Sexes" match sometime in the 70s? We turned to our resident tennis expert Baleener. He let us down.

2. We had to identify the actresses who were Oscar-nominated for their first screen roles in Mary Poppins, Children of a Lesser God, The Piano, and Funny Girl. We got 3 out of 4.

3. We needed the French term for "know-how" that is commonly used in English. Got it.

4. We needed the first rap song to hit #1 on the Billboard Top 100 given the choices of Vanilla Ice (Ice Ice Baby), Run DMC (Walk This Way), and something else I can't remember. I actually thought the answer was Rapper's Delight, but that was simply the first to crack the pop charts in 1979. We went Walk This Way, which seemed pretty obvious but the answer was actually Ice Ice Baby! Turns out Walk This Way was the first rap song to hit the top 5 (at #4), but Vanilla Ice has the distinction of being the first rap song to hit #1. Yikes!

5. Here we had to identify six provincial/territorial flags. We went 5 for 6.

6. This was a number sequence that we had to figure out what came next, which we did (multiply by 3 and add 1).

7. This pasta is Italian for "little worms". We guessed macaroni and smacked our collective foreheads when we found out the answer.

8. We had to determine that "gerrymandering" was a political term. I can't remember the other two options, but we got this right.

9. From a list of six films, we had to pick the two that were on the 1996 Vatican list of all-time best films. We got both right (Ben-Hur and A Man for All Seasons) but they were pretty lucky guesses since the other four choices were more or less plausible.

10. What was George Michael under the influence of when he crashed his car and was recently sentenced to 8 weeks in jail? None of us had paid any attention to this story so we guessed wrong here.

Our round score: 13/19

Round 4
1. The Majestic 12 committee of scientists, the military, and government officials was supposedly created by Harry Truman in 1947 to investigate what? We guessed extra-terrestrialism, but the exact answer they were looking for was UFO activity.

2. We were given eight celebrity quotes and we had to fill in the missing word from a provided list (there were more words than blanks). We got 5 of 8.

3. How old was Lolita in the Nabokov novel? We were too conservative with our guess of 13 years old. I actually read it in a Russian film class, but I forgot she was actually TWELVE. Egads.

4. This was a question about whale hunting, so we turned to our resident whale expert Baleener. Answer: Faroe Islands, no hesitation.

5. This was a sneaky one. What do the following have in common: Dutch politician Geert Wilders, Lady Chatterley's Lover, Straw Dogs, and beef short ribs. You can ponder that and leave a guess in the comments (no googling!). We were close to getting it right, but were not specific enough...

6. They played a mini mix of ten Beatles songs that we had to identify. Right up my alley, 10 for 10.

7. Which original M&M colour was replaced by blue in 1995? I actually knew it was tan from a recent Sporcle quiz. Thanks Sporcle!

8. What's the only anagram of the word English? I'll let you figure that one out.

9. What old master signed his works with his full Cretan name Doménikos Theotokópoulos? Go ahead and google it. We did not know this.

10. Finally, an NHL question! We turned to our resident NHL expert Baleener. Except this was a real toughie.
a) What Bay area team joined the NHL in the 1967 league expansion?
b) What city did they move to in 1976?
I had never heard of the original team and did not know the city they moved to ever had an NHL team.

Our round score: 18/27

Grand total: 62/86

The tie-breaker question: How many times was the word f*ck used in Goodfellas?
It was the team who guessed closest, but one team got it exactly right with 246. Except when we looked it up later, we found varying counts of 300 and 296. In the quizmaster's defense, someone out there is propagating the count of 246.

We stuck around for the final tallies. Third place got 65 right, second had 67, and there was a tie for first with 69. There was even a prize for the last-place team. Said the Quizmaster, "I won't embarrass them by telling you their score (cough) fifty-two (cough) . . ."

All in all, I had a great time. Ponytails was fading by the end, but she was battling bronchitis. Sideburns left halfway-- he always has laundry to do when he's had enough of us! Baleener and I figure our team could challenge for a winning night. The only issue is that The Cascade was quite pricy for food. It was tasty, but not cheap at all. I opted for bison flank ($18) while the other three all got a burger & fries ($15 +$2 if you upgraded to polenta fries). Maybe next time we'll try to pre-eat and then nurse a couple plates of polenta fries.

Quiz night is on hold for several weeks, but mark your calendars it returns October 18th. Now accepting applicants to replace Sideburns. Join our team!

September 5, 2010

Death to the Fruitfly Invasion!

For the past few weeks, loner 654er and I have been waging war against an invasion of fruitflies. At first we thought the fruitflies were coming from our garbage nook, the corner cupboard under the kitchen counter where we keep the trash. We disinfected the plastic bin and left it to dry outside while we also scrubbed the inside of the cupboard. This was a couple weeks ago and the decline in the fruitfly sightings had us feeling good about finding the source... but of course, we had not found the source at all.

We noticed the fruitflies were still hanging around, but could not figure out where they were coming from. Honestly, we were not particularly proactive since we'd only see one fruitfly at a time and were unaware there was larger population brewing in the shadows. Then last weekend, while putting away groceries I opened the corner cupboard opposite the garbage nook and one fruitfly casually flew up into my face. I called to Mr. Loner who was sitting with his girlfriend on the couch, "Hey, do you think they're coming from in here?" "Where?" he said as he got up from the couch. "Maybe these potatoes?" Famous last words.

I gripped the bag and lifted it up out of the cupboard, letting out a girlish scream of horror as my brain processed the terrifying sight my eyes were taking in. A colony of fruitflies had taken over the potatoes, flitting about the air pocket of the bag, hovering around my petrified hand, and crawling all over the rotting spuds. I immediately leapt back, "IT'S DRIPPING, IT'S DRIPPING!" and Mr. Loner (also shouting in horror) swung open the front door as I gingerly ran out to the outside garbage bin, leaving a dripping trail of liquid potatoes. Though grossed out ("OH GOD, THE SMELL!"), I was quite impressed by our speedy action response time from the time of discovery through cleaning and disinfecting phase. Girlfriend on couch was less impressed. We even discovered two other bags of unfinished potatoes and thus, two obvious yet now official policies were firmly established on the spot:
i) No Storage of Potatoes in that Cupboard
ii) No New Potatoes until Old Potatoes are Gone
For the past week, we've been hunting down and murdering the lingering survivors. I read about a simple yet surprisingly effective fruitfly trap that involved an empty bottle (a just finished bottle of BBQ sauce in our case), some balsamic vinegar in the base, and a paper funnel stuffed in the top and taped. See, once the flies go in, they're too stupid to find the exit or they may even drown in the vinegar. I'd occasionally empty the bottle and reset the trap, eventually catching fewer and fewer flies until I triumphantly dismantled the trap today, which has remained empty for at least the past 24 hours. I personally had the satisfaction of manually dispatching the final fruitfly with a well-placed judo chop yesterday afternoon. VICTORY!

August 24, 2010

Embarrassing moments with Shaw Cable

Below is a log of the technical support chat conversation I had with Shaw regarding a cable problem:


Your representative has arrived.

Shaw Agent (21:30:30):

Hi. Thank you for choosing Shaw Technical Support Chat Service for Cable, Internet, and Digital Phone;Could we get your last name and address please?

Ponytails (21:30:41):

XXX Avenue YYY city

Shaw Agent (21:30:58):

Thank you! One moment please!

Shaw Agent (21:35:09):

Do you have just the one TV there?

Ponytails (21:35:17):

yes

Shaw Agent (21:35:36):

And it is connected to a HD Digital box?

Ponytails (21:35:40):

yes

Shaw Agent (21:36:19):

You should not be getting a snowy picture from the box... can you check to make sure the TV is set to the correct input?

Ponytails (21:36:56):

I think it is. I can get volume from the different shows and channels but the picture is very blurry and balck and white.

Ponytails (21:37:22):

I have tried changing the tv input from the dvd source back to tv but there is no change

Shaw Agent (21:38:12):

Can you check what kind of cable goes from the digital box to the TV?

Ponytails (21:38:43):

the typical white cable

Shaw Agent (21:39:25):

Is that an HD TV?

Ponytails (21:39:34):

no

Shaw Agent (21:39:56):

Ok. Well, if the picture is snowy, there is something not right with that cable... can you replace it?

Ponytails (21:40:17):

i will see if we have an extra cable to switch it

Shaw Agent (21:40:26):

Great!

Ponytails (21:42:16):

I switched the cable with a new one and the problem remains

Shaw Agent (21:42:41):

Can you make sure the TV is on channel 3?

Ponytails (21:43:50):

well...that's embarrassing

Shaw Agent (21:44:19):

Heh, same here. Should have been the first thing we checked, but because it is an HD DCT, we skipped that step.

Ponytails (21:44:38):

thanks so much. cheers

Shaw Agent (21:44:55):

You're welcome! Please take a moment to fill out the following online survey and contact us again if we can be of further assistance. Thank you for choosing Shaw and have a great day!

August 21, 2010

Subconscious Music

Do you ever get a song in your head and wonder why it's there? This happens to me all the time. I'll be randomly humming a song and then realise afterwards that somebody else nearby is also singing it, but neither of us knows who started it and why. They're just catchy tunes I suppose.

The other day @ponytails and I were in Toronto and I kept getting the Sesame Street theme song in my head. I could not figure out why this kept happening. The first time I realised I was whistling the tune we were on the subway and I saw a guy with a Sesame St. vinyl record and thought "really? Is that where I got the tune? No! Can't be! That's too far fetched."
I then started to realise that everytime we were taking the subway I would start whistling Sesame St.! "Why is this happening!? Why can't I get another song in my head!? Big Bird, why won't you leave me in peace!?!?!?"
And then my moment of clarity! Every time the subway doors are about to close they make a little tune consisting of just three successive notes... they just so happened to be the first three notes from the sesame street theme song!

I love subconscious music.
Everything we do has a rhythm.
Every move we make has a beat.
And I'm just groovin', man.
Wherever I go, I gots music in my soul.